Monday, February 9, 2009

Rumors STOP With YOU


Today we talked about ways we can stop rumors from being spread. We even did an activity that demonstrated how difficult it is to take those hurtful words back. Even if we think we have fixed things, there are still parts of those mean words that will linger. If rumors hurt others so much, why do we still do them? So here is my question for you to ponder:

Why do you think it is difficult to STOP rumors (mean things being said about someone else)? What character traits are being tested here?

What is one strategy that you can try out the next time you are given a rumor?

Finally, do you think any of this has anything to do with being an "upstander" or a "bystander"?


I know those are some pretty deep questions, but I would love for you to share your thinking with each other. Hopefully we can prevent these mean behaviors from happening at our school!

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Excellent blog post! I have had about millions of rumors about me! One thing I can do to stop rumors is to NOT to spread it once you hear it. It wouldn't be right to spread something that you know isn't even true. Even if you don't tell it to anyone it is actually hard to stop it because other people will tell their friends and their friends will tell their other friends! The rumor will keep on getting bigger and Bigger and BIGGER! You can be an upstander by telling people that the rumor isn't true instead of spreading it.

Anonymous said...

I think it's difficult to take back what mean stuff you have said because you don't know how far the message has gone. This is because if you figure out it's not really the truth you'll have to tell everybody that it was not true. Good facts are not as tempting to spread as rumors. So, it won't be easy spreading the fact that the rumor wasn't true.

One strategy I could do is be positive. Ex: Somebody comes up to you and says..." Oh so and so is wearing such ugly clothes. Don't you think so???"..... instead of agreeing and then telling other people you can just say...." I think that's such a cool outfit I wish I knew where I could get it from." Sometimes in middle school, if you be an
up-stander to the target and start talking and hanging out with them you get teased and become one of the targets to. I have heard(from my brother) that teachers aren't there for you like elementary school teachers. It really doesn't matter if you're popular or not. All that matters is that you did the right thing. The feeling of you doing the right thing will feel much better than the feeling of you spreading the right thing. Now if you go through what I just typed , you know what, people should praise you for being an up-stander. Maybe, teachers will notice it. I bet that you'll get what you deserve later on though.

Yes. I think yes because by being an up-stander would be you going up and telling the target about the rumor like Billy Little. I've got to ways that you could be a by stander but I think the second one would be bullying. One of the ways to be a by-stander is by just letting it happen. Not saying a word about it. Here's the part I get confused on: would a by-stander just ignore the rumor; because I thought that was one of the keys for being an up-stander. But, if you spread the rumor wouldn't that be bullying? I always thought that a by-stander was like in the middle of an up-stander and a bully because they (by-standers) just watch.

By the way, I haven't seen that happening at school but i have sure seen that happening on the internet. That's all I can say because RUMORS STOP WITH ME!!!

Anonymous said...

I forgot to add one thing to my last comment. On the second paragraph I stated this and I need to make some adjustment:

" Oh so and so is wearing such ugly clothes. Don't you think so???"..... instead of agreeing and then telling other people you can just say...." I think that's such a cool outfit I wish I knew where I could get it from."

If it really is a terrible outfit you don't want to lie because even if the target believes you what good does that do. Just try approaching it another way. If you can't think of a different way of approachign it you could tell the person who was spreading the rumors it's not nice and always remember the golden rule. If the bully doesn't listen you can just give some company to the target and tell them about the rumor. The thing is if you mention the te=argets name the target might want to get back at the bully and start a nastier rumor about the bully. To prevent that from hapennign you could just tell the taret let people think whatever they want and you know it's not true. If it was true the bully didn't do the right thing telling anyone but maybe the target shouldn't have done that. Well! See you tomorrow!!

Anonymous said...

I can stop rumors by just not spreading it! That is all it takes, don't spread the rumorst someone tells you. When you don't pass the rumor about someone to someone else, the rumor will slowly go away becuase you didn't tell anyone! Even if other people tell the rumors, you can help the target that is being bullied by telling him the rumors are not true. Or you could go straight to the person who started the rumor with a few friends by your side. When the bully sees that so many people doesn't think what he or she is doing is cool, they might stop. I think that this has to do with the upstander and bystander thing becuase if you don't have the will power to not spread the rumor, you would be a bystander becuase your not helping the target. In fact, your making things even worse then before! If you go ahead and keep spreading the rumor, then a lot of other people will now know too and then soon everyone will know. However, if you are a upstander, you will not spread the rumor so you stop the spreading. It is just like a desiease. If you don't stay at home so you get better, you will spread your germs, just like spreading rumors. Just like what Ishan said, you can be an upstander by telling people that the rumor isn't true, not telling other people or spreading it.

Anonymous said...

It is difficult to stop rumors because you have to take the courage to delete the email or stop the rumor.

I could ignore the rumor and stop the rumor. I could say"It isn't true" and make sure the rumor is stoped and not passed on. Even if it is your best friend saying the rumor I still have to stop.

It has something to do with the upstander because you have to tell an adult or stop the rumor by making sure the rumor isn't passed on. If the rumor is spead, it will be hard to make everyone belive that the rumor is not true.

Anonymous said...

Hi everyone! Today room 19 classmates talked about cyber bullying, which is something like bullying, but is used on the internet. Here are my answers to the questions in the blog post:1. I think it might be difficult to stop rumors because you might be scared to interfere with the person who started it, which could be a bully or someone like that. The character traits being tested here is being trustworthy if you make the rumor stop with you or just another gossiper like the person who started it if you pass it on to the next person. It would be very upsetting to see you friend talking and spreading rumors about you behind your back.2. A few strategies that you can try when you are faced with a rumor is to: *Ignore the talker *Ask how he/she knows for sure *Do not pass it on3. If you decide to be an upstander, then you can stop the rumor before it can go and hurt the feelings of the rumor's victim. By being an bystander, you just let the rumor pass into your ear by one person and out to another. Also by being a bystander, you can hurt the feelings of the person the rumor is aiming at.I hope that none of you guys ever have trouble with bullies face-to-face or on the internet.

Anonymous said...

I think it is difficult to stop rumors because then you don't have to say the rumor to the person's face and you can just tell other people. Also, you might feel pressured into spreading that rumor and think that if you don't spread the rumor people will be mad at you and won't be your friend. Your feeling of what is right and your courage is tested. Next time I am given a rumor, I can just not tell anyone about it and stop the rumor. This has to do with being an upstander or a bystander because an upstander will do something to stop the rumor, but a bystander will just spread the rumor. If the rumor is not true then the person who the rumor is about is hurt.

Anonymous said...

It is difficult to stop rumors because you feel guilty when you tell them you are sorry and take your words back.One thing we can do to have a good school environment is to stop spreading it. If it reachs everyone, then everyone will start teasing the target. Instead of starting a rumor, you mustask the target if you have a doubt even if you really think so. If you stop the rumor, you are being an upstander to the target.

Anonymous said...

It is difficult to stop rumors because you have to belive in youself and have the courage to stop the rumors.Also, I think that you souldn't even start a rumor in the first place. Unless you know the TRUTH you souldn't bother to pass it on.

A strategy I could use is to have self-confidence and not let anything hurtful bring me down. You should not care about anything someone says that is rude or mean.

Yes,I do think so, because if someone else is getting teased or if you hear a rumor about someone, to be a bystander, you just go with the rumor and pass it on to other people. To be an upstander, you tell the person the rumor is about and then you see if the rumor is really true or not. if not, don't pass it on. Pass on the truth. If it is true, themn don't tell anybody else, just keep it to yourself.

Anonymous said...

I can stop rumors by NOT telling other people. I can also tell that person that what he said was not true.

Anonymous said...

I agree totally with everyone. rumors hurt and can make the target very shy and lonely. The way I would stop rumors is just to not tell anyone else about the rumor that I heard. When you tell someone else the rumor, your not only passing it on but your also bullying by saying that the words are true. I have had situations like that and I think it is very hard to stop them. The rumors just give you a shot of pain or some feeling. When you do pass it on you feel lots of guilt and pain.
I think that the everyone should be able to be a upstander. If everyone is, then our whole school will be rumor free.

Anonymous said...

I think it is so difficult to stop rumors since once they tell their friends they will tell their friends like a chain, and they trust the person who started the rumor. I think one way you can stop rumors is when you get the information you don't spread it and you talk to the actual person.It has to do with being an upstander or bystander because if your an upstander you'll not spread it and get the real facts, but if your a bystander you'll just pass on the rumor as they told you to.

Anonymous said...

I think you shouldn't spread the rumor, like how Ishan and Brian said. If someone tells you a rumor about a person, go tell the person or the teacher. The person might get mad at the person who started the rumor and the person who started the rumor might get sent to the principal's office. That can be a way to stop a rumor. Also, if you hear a rumor about a person, you can be an upstander by just telling the person and playing with him.

Anonymous said...

You shouldn't tel rumors because there is no point of telling stuff that isn't true. I have seen rumors at Portal because one was about me. Everybody who knew about it got in trouble because they didn't do anything. Not stopping the rumor or doing something about it is just as bad. One way I could stop rumors is by not telling them. Cyber bulling can spread rumors. One way to stop it is by just deleting the message.

Anonymous said...

It's hard to take back what you said because once you say to one person that person tells somebody else and then it's keeps on going like that.When I get a rumor I can say something nice about that person and keep that to myself. I think this has a little to do with upstanders because you can say something good about the rumor instead of agreeing and passing it on.

Anonymous said...

I think it is very difficult to take back what you said because once you tell someone something your not sure about, the next time they might not listen to you anymore so you can't tell everyone that what you said wasn't true. What I can try out next time I get a rumor is that I will be and "up-stander" and say that it isn't true. I think it has to do with a "bystander" and a "up-stander" because if your a "up-stander" you would tell the person to stop spreading rumors.

Anonymous said...

One thing you can do to stop rumors is to NOT tell other people about the rumor. If it sounds true try to find out if it is true. If you tell a rumor you can be considered a bully. STOPPING rumors is being a up-stander because you are not spreading it on.

Anonymous said...

I think it is difficult to stop spreading rumors just like everyone else said.One thing you should do when you hear a rumor or someone is cyberbullying you or someone else you should either change the subject or give a compliment about it. If that doesn't work, you should delete the e-mail,or ignore it. When someone is bullying someone, they are just trying to make you feel unsafe or unhappy. More people might do cyberbullying because they don't even know you. Chain mails are other form of bulling too because may of then threaten you to do something. If you get a chain mail, just delete it!

Anonymous said...

I think it is hard to stop rumors because what keeps it going is the people that fear that if they don't pass on the rumor, they won't look cool or something bad might happen to them. People also give you peer presure to do it. Next time, if someone tells you a rumor, you could either ignore it or you can not tell others of the rumor. If you are an upstander, them you would not spread the rumor any farther.

Anonymous said...

I think it is difficult to stop rumors because they try to scare you with nonsense like it says "send this to some one else or something will happen!" The character traits that are being tested is can you delete the email or whatever they said form your memory or send it to someone else. A strategy you can try is to forget the rumor or just not spread it anywhere. I think this has something to do with bystander and an upstander. You can be a upstander by not telling or spreadin the rumor. You can be a bystander by just telling and spreading the rumor (which is not a very smart thing to do)!

Anonymous said...

The other post was not really good so here is another one just t oadd on!

I think it is difficult because it's really hard to tell each person the mistake you made. The character traits that are being tested are you brave enough to not belive what the chain mail says and delete it and ont spread the rumor. A strategy is just look at the title of the e-mail and it will say it has been fowarded a lot of times. Don't look at the email just delete it.I think it does have things to do with a bystander because being a upstander you can stop rumors insted of just spreading it.

Anonymous said...

If I herd a rumer I would keep it to my self and not spread it out.I think that that is bieng an up stander.

Anonymous said...

I think that it is hard to stop rumors because you might agree with the person who is spreading it. It just depends if you are brave enough to ignore them.

The next time that you are given a rumor you can ignore it. If its on email you can delete it, but if not than either change the subject or tell them how you feel. You can also say the opposite of what they just said.(If it's in a nice type of way)

Yes. I think it does, this is because if you are an upstander than you probably have enough courage to ignore it your say something else, if you are a bystander than you might not have enough courage to reply and you mite pass it on.

Anonymous said...

I think it is hard to stop rumors because if it keeps getting spread you don't know how many people know about it.If I get a rumor I woudn't spread it.I think it has somethng to do with being an upstander or a bystander. If you are an upstander you would say that is not nice!If you were a bystander you wouldn't do anything.

Anonymous said...

I do not think that it is difficult to stop rumors because if somebody tells you a rumor about another person, you can just disagree with the person who's saying the rumor. One strategy that i can try out is if somebody tells me a rumor that is not true i can disagree with him, Such as if somebody says, "That person is dumb" and i can disagree by saying, "He doesn't look dumb to me and he's also not dumb." Finally, I think that this has to do with a bystander and a upstander because when you stop the rumors from spreading to other people, it is like basically helping the person. It is like helping the person because you stop everyone for knowing about the rumor that people said so everyone won't laugh at the person.

Anonymous said...

It is difficult to stop rumors because you can never take them all back. The next time you are given a rumor, you can ignore it and not spread it. What this has to do with being an "upstander" and "bystander" is if you spread the rumor, you are being a bystander by not standing up for the person you are talking about. What it has to do with being an upstander is if you do not spread the rumor you are being an upstander.

Aunoy said...

Personally, I don't pass around rumors if I hear one because in the next ten seconds I forget:P. But to spread rumors about someone you dislike is hard. Instead, you can ignore that and try to beat them in other things. I've had a lot of rumors about me, and you know what? I don't care. All I have to know is the truth, than people can say what they like. I agree with people to stop rumors, and the upstander is the person who has the decency and politeness to stop. If you are reading this and you are having a rumor passed on about you, consider these tips.
1. The most basic and important rule about bullying(rumors are considered bullying, so is teasing, etc.) is to ignore the rumor.
2. If the rumor is big, or important to you, like about your family, then try to find the source. When you find the source, tell the truth about the rumor, ask them to stop and tell everybody he/she lied(well in a polite way, like he/she was dishonest) If he/she refuses, take this to a teacher.
3. Finally, if you cannot find the source, tell everybody the truth. If the truth is a secret. Tell them it's not true. Then just ignore them.
I really hope these tips actually help, I don't really use them too often because people don't like messing with me.

Mahi from math class said...

Last year there was a rumor that me and Savita heard so we told the teacher.